Time to Revisit Facebook Etiquettes

Malini Murmu, a bright young management student of the prestigious IIM Bengaluru recently committed suicide. She had a quarrel with her boyfriend who promptly posted a new status update on his FaceBook profile: “Feeling cool today. Dumped my ex-girlfriend. Happy independence day.” The girl could not bear the public humiliation, as her last note testifies, “Worst person ever. I hate you.”

What a waste of a promising life! What devastation the unsuspecting family must have felt, and continue feeling! And all because someone did not know how to use Facebook responsibly!

As counsellor Asha Sidd says, the suicide must be the culmination of a chain of events and not a sole event, but it is equally true that the FB post triggered it.

What prompts people to make such statements on public platforms? What is the attraction of these social networking sites that lure people to almost confess on them?

I suspect that the charm lies in the fact that you can be who you like on these sites. You can put on any persona and pretend to be the smart, suave, and popular. Or, be the mean, spiteful venomous creature that you take care to hide in the real world.

The incident brings us back to the question of Facebook Etiquette. How should we use this platform? What constitutes its misuse? Is there a particular way to conduct yourself on it?

There definitely is. In my blog on cyber ethics, I had explained that good cyber manners include not posting any mean or salacious comments about anyone, or uploading inappropriate photographs of others on social networking sites. If your comments are deliberately or accidentally hurtful or insulting, you stand guilty of breaching cyber etiquette.

Remember, in the virtual world, words stay on forever and so one must think twice before hitting the post button. Moreover, not everyone who is on your page is a good friend in real life. One may not even know some well. So should your thoughts and comments go out to them as well?

Further, learn to draw a line between your real and virtual lives. Do not use the FB page as a confessional or a platform to boast your deeds. Facebook is a wonderful means to connect to people, to enrich ourselves through meaningful interactions and bring the world closer through exchange of ideas and news. But unfortunately, some people have started treating it like an alter ego and therefore completely losing its purpose.

A warning to Moms! Teach your kids not to believe everything posted on FB. There are several cases where men befriend teens by posing as youngsters. Also, they should not give much credence to those weak characters who try to avenge their hurt by insulting people or starting rumours. Deal with such people firmly by asking your kids to keep records of their statements and then delete them from their friend lists.

Do sit down with your kids and discuss the points shared in the following sites for some quick refresher of FB etiquette:
http://mcaf.ee/qg6zv
http://www.hongkiat.com/blog/facebook-etiquette/

Finally, it is always better to discuss things in person than in the virtual space. Remember, body language like gestures, facial expressions and tone make a lot of difference to what is said. So do not substitute the virtual life for the real one.

Tags: cyber ethics, etiquette, IIM Bengaluru suicide case

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